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Presently feel as if I am becoming a Recluse. A recluse maybe or may not be for good, i don't know. Its like I am walking on a road unknown, onto a path to which is like never ending i guess. No direction No way.. feel astray...! Its like I am doing things against my will, or may be my sub conscious is constantly stopping me from doing things I am doing. I feel like I am in a complete maze with no exit door. filled up to the brim with negativity and still feel can adjust a bit more within myself! waaoww... after writing a paragraph full of shitty emotions I am realizing the fact that I wrote crap!! Serious crap!
So this is how I do introspection i guess. Writing makes me know myself much better! Now all I need is to know myself a bit more well. I probably need to find a solution to my ever wandering emotions. It starts from finding the reason behind feeling the way I am feeling right now?!!? WHY...?? The question still stands straight... why oh why?
#most probable reasons:-
* i trying to be positive way beyond it is needed to be!
* i am pretending to know myself more than i actually do!
* i am caring too much about things n people!
* i am just too impossible to understand!
* i have emotions difficult to interpret!
* i am choosing to be this way!
* i am not in spirit...
OK.. maybe i really need to brainstorm a bit!
i'll be back once i find a profound and satisfactory answer!!


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Off to a midnight saunter Into woods not so green
I saw someone gazing strong
Afraid to find out and lean.
I stood there still and small
Choosing between stay and move
The gaze took control of me
Telling me things none could prove!
The Fear of unknown built up
Shadows growing strong and dark
I felt a shudder in my soul,,
The thought of bygone, left a mark.
Taking a step back, I thought
Would mean a peep into the past
Heading forward being the best move
This fear will then not last.
I ordered my brain to stop the game
Gave the power to the crimson beast
I knew it would be fair and right
Former always stole the feast.
Now I was out of the woods,
Woods that were never green.
I came and saw the mirror,
The gaze I feared was mein!

The thing

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The thing about whispers,
Well, thy are heard yet unheard! Understood yet unknown language for many. Whispers, seldom become audible but the tunes are soothing, the feel of being unheard yet heard by somebody. More often than usual it is our own soul doing the role. But such introspection sessions are common, as common as an Unicorn on the road at the countryside maybe!
The thing about Unicorns, Well, they are magic. Magic sounds surreal but yes if you have the courage to believe in it; it won't disappoint you. Those 'serene' creatures are nothing but miracles. Wondrous souls that are created with the blink of an eye; with the movement of the wand I guess!

My sky in September

That small restless kiddo!
Overheard, shouted "Just nine"
Waited for the months to end
Till August things were fine.

It didn't bother him till eight,
September was his favorite...
The ninth month on calendar
Waited forever to savor it!

He was waiting, he is still...but
The wait became too long,
He waited, danced on one leg,
Sobbed, singing his favorite song!

The last date was the best,
He thought! Moulding the clay,
The form he made, of a face...
Much like a mask, it'd stay!

He painted few drops, with blue
A little real, a little messed up.
Blue being the fear, he trembled
Dropped the paint, it no more resembled!

What was in front, still blurred his eyes
He thought he'll manage the mistake,
He was sure he'll twist the story,
Mould it in his creative wake!

He took the brush, made it all blue,
Dropped the initial plan, thought,
"Blue is the new you!"
Still, with the heart he fought.

Heart wanted few little drops,
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